What Does Your Attitude Say About You?

Most of us can say just about anything to make ourselves look like overcomers. We can even have others believing that about us.  Are we being totally honest or pretending?
There is a very familiar Scripture that most will quote at one time or another.
Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 
This this was one of my Dad's favorite verses when he was battling cancer. He truly believed this until the day he went to heaven. This is one of my favorite verses. You all know by now I say I am a conqueror over the health issues I battle. What you may not know, is it true, do I really believe that. 
Yes, I do!  I really believe that Jesus Christ has given me the strength to get through the extremes, get through the battles, and to continue to believe that He has His best for me. 
We speak out in faith, many of us quote this verse in faith. Do you speak it out in confidence? Does your faith have confidence in it?  I can say all day long that I have faith that our Lord God will heal me, or give me the strength and endurance to get through the next trial ahead. But if I doubt that in any way or question it, then where is my confidence.  We truly need that confidence to push us past that victory line.  Sure, I have bad days. And thankfully my husband is by my side to help me through those days. But I must choose not to stay in that place. I must choose this everyday. 
I really believe so much of this is exhibited through our attitudes. If I sit around all day and mope and ask why me Lord, I know that my body will not react well to that. It will add an extra stress on my physical being that I do not need. And that in itself will hinder the outcome.  
We cannot afford to have an "extended " pity party for ourselves.  It is essential to keep our attitudes in that confidence mode.  
You may be thinking this is impossible. Well guess what, my God turns impossibles into possibles. When I am having a hard day, I repeatedly quote this verse or another that may be speaking to me.  I have to be active in maintaining my confidence.  
I would like to encourage you, if your day is not turning out how you would like, if your battles seem too difficult to handle, Jesus Christ is right there to help you through. If you feel like your faith isn't strong enough, reach out to your spouse, your pastor, a friend. Someone who you feel confident they can carry you during this weak time.  
God's Word is full of verses that tell us we ARE or we WILL BE victorious!  He gave us His Word because He knew we would need it. 
Hang on friends. When your grip is slipping, He will help you. 
I pray that you find your confidence in your faith. It makes so much difference when that difficult trial comes our way. 

6 Years Ago!

It was 6 years ago when I faced the second spinal cord surgery. I have to be honest here, as much as I try to not think of this event every year, I cannot lose the memories of it.  I literally feel sick to my stomach.  Yes, this is me, a woman who tries to walk in faith, but feeling very vulnerable on this anniversary. I cannot get the memories of the horrific pain I went through for 3 months before I noticed any difference out of my head.
Then in less than a month I had to have the 3rd spinal cord surgery. This one just as delicate as the others but in a different way. This was when the dural sac that houses the spinal cord and spinal fluid and the nerve roots ruptured spontaneously. That added to the pain, in a whole different way. And when I was told I would be at danger of this happening at anytime for the rest of my life. And to expect the nerve damage to progress and not improve. And to expect the pain to progress as well because of the damage to the nerves. That was a lot to absorb!
This was also when I was diagnosed with the leukemia.
So yes, I have horrible memories about that time. Memories I would rather forget, and yet for
 some reason they are as vivid as ever. I pray, Lord God, why do you want me to remember this so vividly?
Then He gently reminds me of the miracle I am, of the protection He has given me and my fragile body, and of the Body of Christ, the Church that selflessly gave of their time to help me.
From the very beginning, in 1990, I have always prayed that the pain I endure, the hardships that Paul and I have faced because of my medical needs, that I would never forget what God has done for us and how He has brought me through these times. I always prayed that if I had to endure these things let it be so no one else would have to. I asked God that He would show the doctors what they needed to learn, and pour wisdom into them so they might be able to help someone else.
I also asked God that these things would be all for His glory. That somehow what I went through would bring glory to God.
Now let's go back to today, why am I reminded so vividly? I would say to remember the wonderful ladies that volunteered their time to come stay with me, and care for me so that Paul could work. They cooked for me, they lifted me into the wheelchair, they waited on me continuously. This is what the church is all about, caring for one another. There is a blessing in this that is indescribable.  A blessing for both sides.
I also am reminded about our son and daughter in law coming to visit. I was discharged from the hospital the day after they arrived.  I remember my son lifting me from the bed into the chair. I secretly cried out to God and said no child should have to see their Mom go through this. I again asked God to please make it so no one else has to experience this.
I also remember that my son's in-laws were on Skype and together they all prayed for me. I truly knew at that time I would be an overcomer and get through all of this.
You may be thinking where is the faith in all of this. How does this glorify God? With every step I take, even in pain, I am reminded that it is a miracle I can even take a step. I am reminded that it has been 6 years, I have had many surgeries in the last 6 years, I have faced leukemia and chemo, and the dural sac has remained intact. That, folks, is plenty to praise God about.
These are the reasons I can walk in faith, I can trust God, and I can believe He has His best for me.
And I think one of the most important things I have learned is that whatever I go through, no matter how severe the pain is, whatever else comes my way, I want God to be glorified above all. And I want others to be touched and receive their own miracle.
Does that mean it will be easy? Absolutely not! I am sure it will be quite hard many times. The outcome may not be what I wanted or expected. But every morning when I read God's Word and pray to Him, I ask Him for the strength to get through my trials, to have the faith to face them with boldness and confidence.
So my point faithful readers, it may not be easy, but with the help of Jesus Christ, we can have faith and we can face our trials and EXPECT victory. What ever you are facing, call on Jesus, and also call on the Church. We are not meant to face things alone. We have a huge family through God that can help us, lift us up, and stand in the gap in prayer for us.

Philippians 4:13Amplified Bible (AMP)

13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

Who is to blame?

How many times have we heard the phrase "Who is to blame?"  How many times have we thought it, or felt like we needed to blame someone?

Last week I had a treatment for the leukemia.  This was the 3rd try for this treatment. Each time I have had a severe reaction. This time the dose was lessened and the length of time for the infusion extended. Still, I had another severe reaction.  It was awful. But I knew it wouldn't last forever, even though it seemed like it. 

This got me thinking, when we have a difficulty with something, or things don't go our way, how do we react?  Do we start blaming someone, or even blame God? Think about that for a moment.  Truthfully we all have had moments when we felt someone was to blame.  And as time goes on we realize that usually we were just as much to blame as anyone else.  But, have you blamed God?  I hope I am never that desperate to blame God for anything.  He is the one that truly will never desert us. He loves us unconditionally. 

I'm sure some may be thinking how can I say that, knowing my medical hardships. Because of the truth, the fact that He loves me, and the fact that He has His best for me. 

I don't know why my spinal cord was tethered and damaged. I don't know why I have leukemia on top of all of that. But I do know that God did not cause it.  We live in an imperfect world.  We have imperfect bodies.  Things will go wrong, things will happen. That is the way our universe works. 

However, we have a choice to sulk in our own self pity or pick ourselves up and move forward. 

I stand on God's promises for my life. And the fact that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator God. That doesn't mean my body won't fail me. But what it does mean is that God will always be by my side. He will always see me through my trials, He will always carry me through when I don't feel I can make it on my own. 

God will do that for you also. No matter what your circumstance, call on Him. He will always be by your side. Whether it is something we have done, or something you'd like to blame someone else for, or just a fact of life, God is near. 

Just another little point to make, God is near to help us through. But sometimes we still need to take an active role in our victory. After all, if we were always handed our victories without having to do the hard work, how would we learn? 

I hope this encourages you my friends.  I pray that as you go through a trial you feel the presence of God right next to you. Reach for your victory.  It is there for you.